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Before and after marriage

Before - You take my breath away.
After - You're suffocating me!

Before - Twice a night.
After - Twice a month.

Before - She loves the way I take control of a situation.
After - She called me a controlling, manipulative, egomaniac.

Before - Saturday Night Live.
After - Sunday night football.

Before - He makes me feel like a million dollars.
After - If I had a penny for every stupid thing he's done...

Before - Don't Stop.
After - Don't Start.

Before - The Sound of Music.
After - The Sound of Silence.

Before - Is that all you are eating?
After - Maybe you should just have a salad.

Before - Game for a Laugh.
After - The Weakest Link.

Before - It's like living a dream.
After - It's a nightmare.

Before - Turbocharged.
After - Needs a jump-start.

Before - We agree on everything!
After - Doesn't she have a mind of her own?

Before - Victoria's Secret.
After - Fruit of the Loom.

Before - Feathers & handcuffs.
After - Ball and chain.

Before - Idol.
After - Idle.

Before - He's lost without me.
After - Why can't he just ask for directions?

Before - When we're together, time stands still.
After - This relationship is going nowhere.

Before - Croissant and cappuccino.
After - Toast and instant coffee.

Before - I can hardly believe we found each other.
After - How the hell did I end up with someone like you?
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Comments

mehak said…
nice hilarious piece and absolutely true!!!!
my personal exp..lolzz!!!
July 3, 2010 at 7:17 PM
Sangeet said…
please share some of your experiences here, would definitely love to know about it from a married woman lolss
July 7, 2010 at 11:11 AM
anne sophie said…
I like your writing ... for my personal experience, I still have lots of good things ahead marriage!
oups ... you missed a paragraph your text ...
before: erotic
following: neurotic ...... lol
good continuation!
July 7, 2010 at 1:32 PM
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